Recently, a coach I follow began asking her audience about the role of sex in the fitness industry.
As a female athlete who often wears tight clothing or shows skin herself, the question seemed difficult for her. How does one navigate a topic like sexuality? Especially in an industry where it obviously factors into your attention, if not your sales?
After all, we can think of plenty of “health coaches” whose photos are one article of clothing removed from looking like they belong on pornhub.
I’ve come to this conclusion: the presence of sex in the fitness industry is good or bad depending on its intent.
This was an interesting topic for me because, frankly, I’ve never dealt with it directly. Sure, I am a fitness coach, but I have rarely looked at a shirtless male fitness coach and felt that sexuality was his primary message. It’s there, for sure, but if there is anything that guys sell, I believe it is power. The arguments for and against such expression are similar to sexuality, but that’s a topic for another time.
Among female coaches however, we all know the kind of “coach” who has a million followers. Here and there you have legitimate fitness celebrities like Katrin Davidsdottir of Crossfit Games fame, but you have equally popular booty girls who have never done a push-up without breaking form to stick their ass out.
Where is the line?
In viewing this topic as an observer, I’ve come to this conclusion: sexuality in the fitness industry is good or bad depending on its intent.
In the modern day, fitness is an indispensable realm for body positivity. Women can dress in form fitting clothing and be proud of their physique, publicly, with relatively low sociocultural shame. It’s certainly acceptable enough that I see barely clothed joggers of both sexes on a regular daily basis without a passing thought.
I am all for it. I believe wholeheartedly in honest communication about sex, and am not big on the puritan mindsets of the past.
With that said, sex is incredibly powerful. It is one of the most deeply rooted biological drivers. With great power, as they say…
While body positivity and self confidence are great, manipulation and shame are common bedfellows of sexuality.
When sex in fitness is used primarily to mislead, compete, shame, or advertise, I believe this is where problems arise.
Many female coaches I know or follow are constantly grappling with this issue. They are losing attention and clientele to less-qualified coaches who promote vanity and use sex to shame and to sell. .
Regardless of the level of sexuality in your business, are you being genuine? Are you trying to help people? Do you see your clients and fellow coaches as equals?
It does not help that the difference can be very subtle. A body positive pole dancer who is also a fitness coach may have no ulterior motive behind her highly-sexualized content. She celebrates sexuality as a medium for self expression, and many of her clients benefit greatly from her support. Even if you don’t agree with her, she gives many people a chance to be comfortable with themselves, possibly for the first time in their lives.
On the flip side, there’s the “coach” whose instructional content more closely resembles that parts of the internet you delete from your browser history. She has twice the followers of the best fitness coaches you follow, yet you’ve never seen one of her “shoulder” workout routines take the camera anywhere but her ass.
Even if it’s a good show, it’s hard not to roll your eyes at the deception. Her female clients are being shamed for not looking like her, and her male clients are driven like a horse being led by a carrot. We all know what they really want.
I don’t know what to call it. I hesitate to pass direct judgement, but I certainly know which one is more honest.
And I think that’s the key difference between these two types of coaches: honesty.
Regardless of the level of sexuality in your business, are you being genuine? Are you trying to help people? Do you see your clients and fellow coaches as equals?
Or are you “above” them? Are you getting “what you deserve” and manipulating people with your figure? Is money the singular aim?
I don’t want to shame anyone who loves their own body. We need to be careful about any blanket statements regarding sexuality in the fitness space.
However we can all aim to be honest, and to reflect upon our intent.
As the saying goes, if you buy a Ferrari to be seen driving a Ferrari, I question your character. If you buy a Ferrari because you love Ferraris, I ask you for a ride!
Celebrate the beauty of your body, enjoy the fruits of good fitness and health, and help others love themselves and improve themselves.
If you set your heart in this manner, you cannot do wrong with your expression. Not everyone will see it for what it is, and many will accuse you of being something you’re not, but there will also be people for whom you are an invaluable role model they cannot find elsewhere. There are other people like you who need someone they can relate to. You do them a disservice by being anything less than yourself.
If instead you aim to use people as means to an end, see others as beneath you, and view your clients as no more than monetary gain, then your expression is tainted whether it is sexual or not.
This may be who you are too, but I do believe there are ways of being that will make your life harder in the long run. Perhaps you really are just a highly sexual person, but you feel you must use it as a weapon to hide the fact you actually enjoy it. This is not good for you or your clients.
Show your ass, or don’t. Dress modestly, or don’t. Think first of what is in your heart, then go forth.